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Danny1's blog


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Welcome to Danny1's blog!

251 views
26 Aug 2008 8:16 PM

A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.
Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.
It seemed a little strange.
When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.
Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired,
'Why the spoon?''
'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes.
After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil.
It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.
If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare.
'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.'
I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.
Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.
So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'
'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice.
'Not everyone is so observant.
That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.
By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.
I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'
'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'




 
342 views
15 Aug 2008 11:52 PM

SORRY ABOUT MY LAST BLOG FOLKS. IT WAS JUST MY LITTLE GAME WITH CENSORSHIP. HEE HEE.



 
337 views
15 Aug 2008 11:40 PM

Decided to put up some shelves t'other day and found I was short of hugs. So I headed down to the local hardware where a pretty young thing said "Can I help you sir?"
"Yes" I said I need you to give me a hug or 2.
"Only too pleased to help" she said. "What kind of head do you want?"
"What do you suggest?" I asked.
"Straight head is good" she replied "No point messing around with the fancy stuff"
"I agree" I said, "I do most of my huging by hand these days, I don't use electric devices anymore" "I find I can get it in further anyway"
"OK," she said, "And how long do you want your hug?"
"I prefer a long hug" I replied "I find short ones fall out too easily"
At this stage I glanced over my shoulder and there was at least 20 other guys waiting for this young lady to give them a hug.
The Department Manager arrived and said to me "What's going on here?"
I said "This young lady is helping me out with a hug"
"Well hurry up then" he said
"Well hug you" I replied
"And hug you too," he said.
So I grabbed my hugs and went to the cashier very upset.
"What's up?" she asked
"That Department Manager is very rude" I said
" He is a frustrated Handyman" she soothed. "He used to do a lot of stuff at home, but now his Mrs makes him go next door and do it" "Especially anything that needs huging!!"



 
423 views
5 Aug 2008 8:53 PM


I got a laugh out of this the other day. I just left our local club after a small tipple and a flutter,  and I noticed a bumper sticker on the vehicle near mine which read as follows--

                            MISSING HUSBAND AND DOG
                            REWARD OFFERED FOR DOG

Danny




 
476 views
4 Aug 2008 7:51 PM


I have been noticing all these 20-40 year old stunning young ladies mainly from the Eastern Bloc appearing in new and recent members. Pheeeweeww, just as well I haven't posted a photo or they would be beating down the doors to get to me. My inbox would runneth over. (yes I am kidding again).

Danny



 
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