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19 Oct 2009 7:53 PM

Some of you have kindly commented about my "Uncle Chris" blogs and suggested that I do another about him.  So with the hope that I'm not overdoing it, I will do yet another remembrance of my Uncle Chris and his love of the game of pocket billiards. 

First let me make it clear that the photo I've posted is not of my Uncle Chris.  It is actually a photo of the now deceased but world famous pool or pocket billiard player, Luther "Wimpy" Lassiter.  Some say "Wimpy" was the finest nine-ball player ever of all time.  I was actually very fortunate to see Luther Lassiter play for several hours in a pool hall in New York one day sometime in what I believe was 1971 or 72.  You can't imagine the luck of me even walking into that pool hall and the accident of running into the sight of Luther Lassiter playing big time pool with a local New York pool shark.  But they were playing nine-ball for $200 a rack and eventually played for $500 a rack.  Let me tell you it was something I'll never forget to have seen that man shoot pool in person.  Old "Wimpy" didn't dawdle when he played.  He played fast but he controlled the cue ball that day like he had it on a string and he took that shark and his backers for quite a bit of money that day before they called it quits.  Then the old guy just cased up his cue and walked out of the pool hall with his friends, without hardly a word except to say "nice to meet ya" to the shark and his backers.

Well, I can't post a photo of my Uncle Chris just yet as my scanner is still not operational.  But as this Blog has to do with pocket billiards and because Luther Lassiter and my Uncle Chris looked a little alike, I thought it would be somewhat appropriate to post Mr. Lassiter's photo to give you somewhat of an idea of what Chris looked like.  Chris was smaller and his face was a little thinner and more pointed, but he had the same type face and curly white hair as Mr. Lassiter had in this photo.

Anyway to give you a little background;  My father William had four brothers (Christopher, James, Francis and Richard), and one sister (Elizabeth).  The brothers all were no strangers to the game of pocket billiards.  All of them frequented pool halls since they were kids.  My father and Uncle's Chris and Jimmy were all excellent at pocket billiards.  When I say excellent I'm talking that it was nothing to see any of the three run 50, 60 to even a hundred balls in a game of straight pool.  Actually now that I think of it, when it came to any type of gambling, fighting or drinking the three of them were pretty proficient... lol.  I'd guess some would blame their Irish heritage and some would celebrate it.

But Chris was the best out of the three.  Even in his sixties to seventies he still played a great stick.  When he got on a roll he was like a machine and a joy to see play.  Myself, I was fortunate just to be around my Father and Uncles and to get to shoot some pool with them.  I became pretty good but not even remotely close to any of the three.  But like anything as we get older we begin to lose the eyesight, reflexes, concentration that we had when younger.  So as Chris got older he took to playing the games of nine-ball and six-ball instead of the rigors of a long game of straight pool.  Still despite his age he would pretty much whip me when we played. 

On this one particular night I had met my Uncle Chris at a bar/restaurant in East Haven.  We had a few drinks and something to eat and decided to go shoot some pool.  There was a new pool hall that had opened in New Haven so we took a ride there and just started knocking balls around a little when this cute little Italian girl came in and started practicing bank shots by her self a couple tables away from us.  Well both Chris and I were watching her between our shots, as she was a pretty damn hot looking tomato.  I mean she was one sweet looker and she had on these really tight jeans and well... what the hell.  It also was unusual to see any girl come into a pool hall by her self like that, nonetheless carry her own pool cue.  I would say she was maybe no more than 4 or 5 years older than me, say 27 years old.

Naturally some guys went right over and stopped by to watch and talk to her.  Then the flirting began and next thing you knew she was playing nine-ball with a guy for $20 a rack.  It was pretty obvious that he was trying to get friendly with her and she seemed to be flirting back.  He played okay but he was no great talent.  Still they were playing a money game and after they played about 4 racks they were even.  So now she flirts with him some more and she bumps the price up to $50 a rack and the guy goes along.  I mean what's he going to do, back down from a girl in front of all these guys?  Well, then this she wolf started tearing a hole in this fella's butt... lol.  I mean Ms. Tight Jeans beat him like 5 or 6 racks in a row and he finally swallowed his pride and quit her. 

Then another fella comes over and she is as nice as pie to him so he gives her a try too.  They start out playing for the same $20 a rack and after some heavy flirting they eventually graduate to $50 as well.  In any case this guy didn't have any luck with her either.  By now she must have been four or five hundred bucks ahead and there didn't look like there was going to be any more takers because it was clear she had a good stick.  That is until I see my Uncle Chris ambling over to her to chat her up a little bit.

Well she seemed polite enough to speak to Chris.  I mean she had a pocket full of money now and could have just blew him off as some old guy, but she didn't.  They talked for about 5 minutes and the both of them were putting on the charm so to speak.  Still all the while she kept on practicing her bank shots and bending over and reaching over the pool table giving a show and being nice to "Grandpa".  It sure was nice to ogle her and there was no doubt that she knew about it going on too... lol.  Then the next thing I know she is playing old Uncle Chris for $20 a rack.  Naturally I quit shooting and went over to watch.  Now you had to see it but this girl was being real sweet to Chris.  She was a real hustler and she had her routine down.  Flirt and talk sweet to Grandpa... shoot some damn good nine-ball... and take Grandpa's money... Mostly in that order too, lol. 

Well, Chris didn't complain and just acted like he was a harmless old man that was happy just to get her attention and give this young gal his money.  He appeared like he was on cloud nine just to be chatting and playing nine-ball with this temptress.  Chris made some nice shots but sometimes at key moments his hand would shake and he would miss an important shot or not quite leave the cue ball in position for the next shot.  She also caught on real quick that Chris had a big pocket full of money so now she got even more and more friendly and was touching Chris here and there, laughing and joking and all.  Meanwhile more than a few guys came over to watch this little doll take the old farts money.  Occasionally you could even hear a snicker or two about "Gramps".  But, I really knew better. 

So after about 7 racks Chris let her beat him for about $100 and then complained that he didn't think he'd ever have a chance to get even... but oh no, she quickly relieved him of that concern by giving him a chance and asking him if he wanted to bump the price up to $100 or so if she let him break.  I mean she blew right by the $50 price as she thought she had a real sucker.  So Chris shuffled his feet, wiped his head, hesitated and gave this doleful look over at me as if his nephew should save him...  But I said sure go ahead, you can't take it with you pops... lol

Well needless to say Chris' game immediately got better.  It didn't take long before his "shakes" went away and he was making shots or leaving her safe and without a shot.  So before you knew it Chris had all her money that she had won from the other guys and then some.  The last three racks Chris had broke and ran the table right through to the nine ball.  I mean she was fit to be tied... lol.  Chris was smiling away and being nice as pie but I mean this gal was really pissed now.  The best part was her complaining as she went from sweet to sour real quick and seemed to have murder in her eyes... lol.  But, Chris didn't miss a beat as he took her last hundred bucks.  He just smiled at her and said something like, "Shame on you little girl, trying to take old Grandpa's milk money away.  What were you thinking?"  Then he winked at her, said he had to get back to the "Old Folks Home" and we left. 

It was satisfying for me to watch it all, but for Chris it didn't get any better than that.  To him it was like he had just snuck into the panties of the young gal and then hit the daily lottery number too... lol.  I remember him laughing and cackling away the whole ride home.  He was tickled pink about how he let her do all the hard work for him in getting those other guy's money.  He also glowed in delight about the new dress suit he was going to get courtesy of that little honey.  I guess the lesson of it all is that if you're ever in a pool hall and you see some old white haired guy shooting some pool... think about staying clear and just leave him alone.  He could be a guy like Uncle Chris or even worse he could be a guy like Luther "Wimpy" Lassiter.  Either way, you're probably going to be parting with some money.  Anyway, wherever you're at Uncle Chris, may all be well and I hope you're racking them with some real sweet honeys.  If you think of it, rack one for me too...  Jimmy

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