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28 Apr 2008 7:45 AM

    Head hung down in frustration, she contemplated her next move. Decidedly she had been upset by some of the things she had read. Was this jealousy ? Was this judgement on others ? She was hoping not, she really was. She really didn't want to feel that way about the morals and ignorance of others. She pushed those feelings of aggrevation off to the far side of her mind, to be forgotten in the recess' of the shadows. This was not her call. No judgement.
    Well she got up,washed her face and decided to pursue another avenue of thought. Before this gesture, she had written, then erased about 4 paragraphs she decided were of no consequence, to them, her or anyone else for that matter. She had decided she saw love, so that was enough to let it go. Not her kind of love mind you, or to many others for that matter, but a love. This was a needy, slightly desperate type of love that so suits some people that it is quite common in this day and age. Two desperate people for two seperate reasons. Desperate people, desperate reasons. You know what they say...desperate times call for desperate measures. Maybe they believed they were "soul mates". "Hah", she said to that idea. Move on she told herself, move on.
    When she had turned the computor on she saw a reflection of her eyes in the smallest space. She had a screen saver up and in this forrest scene there were dark spaces. Under the trees, behind the babbling brook.What is it that a brook babbles she wondered with a small smile ?  Looking at the picture again, she imagined it to be something like "ha, ha look at me. I am free falling down this beautiful mountain side, so free. No one can catch me, or stop me, I'm cool ".
    So the brook is very happy indeed. No matter that 51 miles up the road is a new dam being built. The point of the moment and now... is to BE the brook. Smile, feel the freedom of life. Feel the life running through you. Enjoy LIFE.
    Don't worry that your neighbor just sent you the most beautiful wedding invitation and she is going to marry the biggest jerk you have ever met. Does that have any thing to do with you ? Your life ? They live far enough away you don't have to hear them argue or fight. You don't have to hear the awful things she lets him say to her. You don't have to hear her cry herself to sleep some nights.  You do see her leave to work with her head hung down, sad. She comes to you to pray for her. And you do. You pretend like they pretend ?
    Go out and take some pictures she thinks. Go buy a new camera. No, not now it's raining to hard. Don't want to get caught in this storm. She thinks, and thinks. " I know", she thinks and says outloud. "I'll clean the blinds, clean the kitchen, then make a really nice salad and fix a chicken pizza". She thinks that sounds really good. Be the brook, babble on and face the dam when you get to the lake it has created. Who knows we might like being part of the lake for a while. Maybe the lake is what we were meant to be part of in the first place. Hummm she ponders, " I wonder, how long it will take me to get through the dam and out the other side "? Not long at all she imagines, not long at all.......



   

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