4 Dec 2007 8:22 PM

...Thank you, Admin, for removing the inappropriate comments left by a member here on my previous blog without me even asking you to do so (if someone asked admin for me then thank you)....but my comment in reponse to him is still there and now looks so random and out of place...can you delete that comment too please?

...Also, thank you for deleting his inappropriate blog (using my name) as well...also without me even requesting you to do so.

...I appreciate your attentiveness to this site and your efforts do not go unnoticed. I would like to join as soon as i can figure out how to get my PayPal account up and running again

...anyway, Admin, good job! It's a wonderful site and is fulfilling your purpose you have stated...to help many who might otherwise struggle with loneliness.

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3 Dec 2007 6:35 PM

(Please note: Admin removed a certain members inappropriate comments below but did not remove my response to him so you will find my comment below to sound rather random and out of place)

FINALLY GETTING IT

A time comes in your life when you finally get it . . .

When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening...

YOU REALIZE THAT IT'S TIME TO STOP HOPING AND WAITING for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

YOU AWAKEN TO THE FACT THAT YOU ARE NOT PERFECT and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are . . . and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

YOU STOP COMPLAINING and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

YOU STOP JUDGING and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.

YOU COME TO KNOW that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

YOU LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WANTING AND NEEDING and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.

YOU LEARN THAT IT IS TRULY IN GIVING that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

YOU LEARN THAT PRINCIPLES SUCH AS HONESTY AND INTEGRITY are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

YOU LEARN YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING; it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

THEN YOU LEARN ABOUT LOVE. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

YOU LEARN TO LOOK AT RELATIONSHIPS AS THEY REALLY ARE and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

YOU LEARN THAT JUST AS PEOPLE GROW AND CHANGE...SO IT IS WITH LOVE and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.

YOU LEARN THAT ALONE DOES NOT MEAN LONELY. You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."

YOU ALSO STOP WORKING SO HARD AT PUTTING YOUR FEELINGS ASIDE, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

YOU COME TO THE REALIZATION that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

AND YOU LEARN THAT YOUR BODY REALLY IS YOUR TEMPLE. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to laugh and to play.

YOU LEARN THAT FOR THE MOST PART IN LIFE, YOU GET WHAT YOU BELIEVE YOU DESERVE and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

YOU LEARN THAT ANYTHING WORTH ACHIEVING IS WORTH WORKING FOR and that wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it happen.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

YOU LEARN that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

YOU LEARN TO FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it's just life happening.

YOU LEARN TO DEAL WITH EVIL in its most primal state; the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

YOU LEARN TO BE THANKFUL and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

FINALLY, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

...ANONYMOUS...i do not know who wrote this but will post it if i find it
...(a member found a similar writing of this by Donald Farr who claims his was a response to Denise M Carroll "The Awakening". This one is a similar reworking of it i guess...but i still don't know by whom)

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21 Nov 2007 1:53 AM

...my following story has a slightly religious undertone, if it makes you uncomfortable you might want to hit the backbutton now (just want to be  respectful of all).

Here's a little something i'm thankful for...
...a few days ago, my daughter called from college in tears. She sounded like she was about to have a nervous breakdown. It's her last year and she was stressed beyond belief because 1) all her projects were due before the holiday 2) she "had" to do a 24 hour charity dance marathon as she signed a contract to do it 3) waitress job hours which she wont quit because she wants to "put herself through college" even though she has a college account and 4) extra peace corps volunteer hours and medical checkups and shots for overseas.

After trying to get her to quit some of her commitments, in exasperation, i finally said, "When this happens to me, i pray and ask God to give me more hours in the day as 24 is just not enough. It sounds impossible but He can do anything and has miraculously done it in the past so just have faith. I will pray too." I was so worried about her but nothing i could do.

The next day she called and said "I woke up at total peace for some reason, and went to the library to work on my biggest project. I never would have gone to the classroom but i needed something so i went. On the door was a note that said...'Computers are down so all projects are due AFTER the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays". God is good and loves us all.

I'm sure you all have something you're thankful for too. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

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29 Jul 2007 10:10 PM

PHOTO: I started container gardens on my deck and have since harvested long stemmed red roses, juicy heirloom tomatoes, zucchini, all sorts of fresh herbs (have made several batches of pesto from my basil), yellow and red bell peppers, and lots of flowers....this was my answer for "unsticking my stuckness"...a therapy that worked for me!

It's good to embrace challenges that occur from aging...like unsticking our "stuckness" when other things in life have lost their charm. Boredom and getting in a rut happened to me not too long ago.

I had set aside my painting, the passion momentarily gone. I stopped going outside as i babied my hurt knee after surgery (100% good now). I had an empty nest overnight. I became way too involved in chatroom issues and i just basically lost the real me.

My kids (home shortly from college) noticed a difference and came down heavy on me for the chatroom involvement (i'm not saying the chatroom is bad for everyone...only speaking for me...it can be fun and seems to work well for some). My back was to them while on the computer, and chores were not completed. I rationalized, and i was in denial that anything was wrong, and played up the fact that i have a life when i go to work and interact there with the outside world. I made excuses like needing to baby my knee.

But their concern was undeniable. One night my 21 yr old son hugged me with tears in his eyes because he said he loved me so much and he didn't want to see that i wasn't the same person i was before. It woke me up completely. I grabbed hold of myself right then and there. I left the chatroom and came to Blogs & Discussions where i could control my time better. Blogging is an enjoyment that is not an obsession for me.

Then i got inspired to do container gardens from my 82 yr old mother, who is a beautiful example of self control, healthy lifestyle, and passionate living. This new hobby of container gardening unstuck my stuckness completely!

What is the magical process that happens that motivates us to make decisions to move us out of our stuckness? Is it something someone else says? a thought? a dream? something we read? the realization that life is short?

Ideas for Unsticking Our Stuckness: You could go outside in the fresh air, plan a day trip to someplace you've never been before...local winery, art district walk, seashore and take your watercolors, hike or bike in the country, outdoor festivals or go on a photo expedition to anywhere...from nature to the inner city, or volunteer at an outdoor event or church activity...or start some container gardens!

We have a local dog park here and sometimes its fun to take Max there and just interact with other dog owners. I just got my my first job in 20 years that is my dream career (love it) and was a miracle i got it so that keeps me kind of busy but i also have my quiet moments. On rainy days i love to read prose and poetry and famous quotes from favorite writers and paint and listen to Bach's Brandenburg Concerto #5 while i watch the birds outside at the birdfeeders.

...nothing could be finer than to step outside my door to my container garden of herbs and take a deep whiff of rosemary, pineapple sage, or lemon thyme...mmmmm....aromatherapy.

I could go on and on (or have i ???)

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24 Jul 2007 4:41 AM

UPDATE: Regarding the 2 links below...the 3 w's that come after the // have been automatically removed from the addresses below as well as the .c_ _ after the word tube so these links now will not work but you can google "Tom Rush Remembering Song" or "You Tube Evolution of Dance"


OVERFIFTIES...YA'GOTTA'LOVE US
Enjoy some laughs with these "You Tube" videos...


1)  "TOM RUSH REMEMBERING SONG" (folksinger, with a fun overfifties lament):

      http://.youtube/watch?v=9yN-6PbqAPM 
              (refer to update above regarding this link)

      UPDATE: or google "Tom Rush Remembering Song"


 
2) "EVOLUTION OF DANCE" (fun guy dancing): 

      http://.youtube/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg
            (refer to update above regarding this link)

      UPDATE: or google "you tube evolution of dance"

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