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5 Jul 2008 12:20 PM

Anyone here into Feng Shui (pron. Fung Shway apparently). Well, Mrs Ozz is, and some time ago she bought this three-legged toad, ugly little character that, for some mystical reason, has a coin in its mouth. Now, I'm an open-minded kind of a guy, I'll listen to most things and give them a fair hearing...but...when Mrs O told me that placing this new addition to the Ozz household in a spot where it would be close to the entrance door and facing into the house "will bring us fortune and prosperity" which she said with the trusting look of a true believer - "yeah right!!" was my somewhat cynical retort.
So this little guy, whose name is Chan Chu apparently (probably chinese for "so long sucker") sat in his appointed spot and was the very first thing that greeted me each time I walked into the house. I'll swear there was a permanent smirk on his wrinkled little face, or maybe it was the way he was biting that coin like he wouldnt ever let go.
Then came that fateful night when our hero, Ozz, came home somewhat the worse for drink, after watching a memorable game of football with his equally inebriated son-in-law (those friends from Queensland and New South Wales will know which game I'm talking about). For some unknowable reason I became... what's the word...disoriented. Lost my bearings, and my balance, and fell in a chuckling heap on the floor. Unfortunately, in my rapid descent, I inadvertently dislodged the toad from his perch and, being ceramic, he paid the ultimate price.
It didn't help when Mrs Ozz appeared from the bedroom (it was quite late) and beheld her beloved gurgling on the floor surrounded by pieces of busted toad.
"Don't worry sweetheart, I'll get you another" ("Not" I thought heh heh).
Here's the thing, since that happened, my car has broken down (big bucks), my daughter has required medical treatment (nothing serious) that will cost me dear and I've realise that my tax refund will only be half of what I estimated....!!!!
So after I've finished this little item, I'm off to the Mystical Superstore to find another 3-legged toad (with coin siutably attached) which I shall personally dust and polish every day!!
OK gotta go before the stores close....bye
Cheers
Ozz

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