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14 May 2008 5:00 AM

looking through the local papers, i came across a local adervt,for speed dating at a nearby day centre. as id been on my own ever since my cat died. i decided to give it a try, so off i toddled. well, when i opened the door at the day centre,it looked like a  steel convention: id never seen so many zimmers and walking sticks.the tables had been set out so that they would allow two zimmers to pass each other. there was a microphone and cards, printed in large letters: saying change and move to next table;  a lot of shouting ensured, with yes, its chilly out, and  when does bingo start, and some of them had to be shaken, as they had started to fall asleep. evenually i met someone, who asked if id  like to go back to his place afterwards?after ascertaining  that he had a stairlift[ i dont like stairs] i decided to go-  it looked like he had money as his zimmer was blue. with a go- faster stripe. when we got back to his place, meals on wheels had  arrived with his lunch of steak and kidney pie potatoes and veg, i waited while it was liquidised.  after he had finished,  he suggested we should go up stairs. as the stairlift couldnt take two, i waited downstairs, i didnt realise how slow the stair
-lifts    so i dozed off? when i woke up, i got on the stairlift,, as i said the stairlifts are  so slow, so by the time i got to the top of the stairs id forgotten  what i had come up for. oh i decided to go back  down and go back home.    next  week, thers a party for a 95 year old, with party games one called musical  commodes? i might give it a miss in fact? im going down to the cats home.
  cheers xxxxx stelle

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