why does things happen to me

[suerad10]

In this past 20 years i dont know why i keep getting punished,with what happens in my life.I HAVE HAD AGRANDSON WHO MY HUBBY AND I HAVE BROUGHT UP,MY SON IS ON DRUGS,IN PRISON AT THE MOMENT ,MY HUBBY HAS BEEN OFF 2ORK FOR 22 YEARS,BUT I SEEM TO TAKE 2 STEPS FORWARD AND 3 BACK.I ALWAYS SEEM TO GET THE BAD BITS AND OTHERS GET THE GOOD ONES,WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG.I DO BELELIVE IN GOD,SOMEONE TOLD ME TO TAKE IT TO HIM BUT I DON,T KNOW HOW

[Shar]

Hello suerad10, welcome to OverFifites.
I am sorry you are having such problems but I don't believe any of us could give you advice without knowing you. The Lord is not hard to find if you search.


"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. "
Matthew 11:28

I believe, you have to know Him in order to ask something of Him, perhaps you can relate it to knowing a friend before you ask a favor of them. Sometimes when we say we know God, we only know OF God.

I know it is hard to set aside all your problems and instead, take the first step to wanting that relationship with Him. Our problems become uppermost in our lives when our relationship with Jesus Christ has to be the first care instead.( I know because I had been there.)

This takes some effort just as going to the grocery store to buy food is the first step to being able to eat.

Not knowing your circumstances, whether you have a car or not but if not, you do seem to have a computer and I would suggest going to
http:www.intouch.org/ and beginning the study program there. I believe Charles Stanley is a Bible preaching teacher. The section on In Touch TV gives you audio for sermons preached each week. Still, you need the support and love of other believers also.

"What we have seen and heard we proclaim to you also, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father, and with His Son Jesus Christ. But if we walk in the light as He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin."

1 John 1:3,7

"That their hearts may be encouraged, having been knit together in love, and attaining to all the wealth that comes from the full assurance of understanding, resulting in a true knowledge of God's mystery, that is, Christ Himself."

Colossians 2:2

"Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another."

Ephesians 4:25

suerad, buy a good study Bible, the NIV (New International Version) Life Application Bible is a good one in my opinion. My cousin is a pastor that teaches Greek at Rice University and uses that among a couple of others. You will not know God, nor what He expects of us or how much He loves us until you learn of Him. I suggest you start in the New Testament.

Please try these first steps
Find a church where you can worship, fellowship, and serve. It should be a place where God's Word is taught, where you can experience God's love, and be discipled by caring believers.

Bible study is very important. Daily reading of God's Word is a must. The Gospel of John is a great place to begin.
Develop a daily time of Bible study, worship, and prayer.

suerad10, I will pray for you in your search and please ask other Christians to pray for you. You are never alone if you surround yourself with caring people. Even in the midst of turmoil the Lord will give you peace. Our world is full of turmoil and He is the only one that can give real peace.

I hope I didn't ramble too much for you, I seem to have that knack..*G* and many thanks to banjodad for asking someone to find and answer your post..*S*

[onthehouse]

In this past 20 years i dont know why i keep getting punished,with what happens in my life.I HAVE HAD AGRANDSON WHO MY HUBBY AND I HAVE BROUGHT UP,MY SON IS ON DRUGS,IN PRISON AT THE MOMENT ,MY HUBBY HAS BEEN OFF 2ORK FOR 22 YEARS,BUT I SEEM TO TAKE 2 STEPS FORWARD AND 3 BACK.I ALWAYS SEEM TO GET THE BAD BITS AND OTHERS GET THE GOOD ONES,WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG.I DO BELELIVE IN GOD,SOMEONE TOLD ME TO TAKE IT TO HIM BUT I DON,T KNOW HOW

There are alot of people worse of, you must look at life like that.
In the last few years I too have had to go through some hard times, I have lost people I loved dearly, one was my son, he to was on drugs, just be thankful you still have your son even though he is in prison, better there than in his grave. GOD DOES WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

kEEP YOUR CHIN UP

[wombat]

Hi to suerad10
I felt for you when I read your note and wanted to pass on something I learned some time ago. It is a bit like the "Footprints" poem found in many insperational books. The thing is this, you are going through some terrible times and it mayfeel God does little to help. Can I ask how you think you are managing to go through these times? Do you not think that perhaps it is your God that gives you the strength and ability to 'carry on'. Why it has to happen we may not understand, but having the strength to go through it is God given. So whilst you do not understand never doubt His love for us all. Wombat

[Jade2]

suerad10, sometimes we just have to take control of our own lives. It sounds to me that you are always doing for others. Who does for you? God really is there for us if we call on Him, but I also think He expect us to do for ourselves. Think about what YOU want and then think about how you might make it happen. Speaking this from experience. God bless you.

[Joyous]

In this past 20 years i dont know why i keep getting punished,with what happens in my life.I HAVE HAD AGRANDSON WHO MY HUBBY AND I HAVE BROUGHT UP,MY SON IS ON DRUGS,IN PRISON AT THE MOMENT ,MY HUBBY HAS BEEN OFF 2ORK FOR 22 YEARS,BUT I SEEM TO TAKE 2 STEPS FORWARD AND 3 BACK.I ALWAYS SEEM TO GET THE BAD BITS AND OTHERS GET THE GOOD ONES,WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG.I DO BELELIVE IN GOD,SOMEONE TOLD ME TO TAKE IT TO HIM BUT I DON,T KNOW HOW

Suerad10, I wonder how you are today. I haven't seen this post before. For awhile I was unable to post. The best I can say to you is this. Get on your knees, cry out to our heavenly Father. Tell Him, I cannot survive alone. Please help me. Show me the way to live as You want me to live. I need You in my life. Thank You, in Jesus Name, amen.(And mean it)
Then let go of ALL your problems. Stop thinking about them. Just go about your work with a song on your lips, a prayer in your heart for someone who may have more troubles than you do. God WILL bring you through, if you really trust. I care for you and I am praying right now that God will help you. Amen.

[CallumLikeIseeum]

Hi, Sue!

Perhaps you are praying for the wrong thing. If you simply ask God for the strength to endure that which you cannot control it seems He is giving you that. Be careful of what you pray for. You might just get it.

Instead, ask God to help you move past everyone else's troubles that seem to have brought you down. You can't really be there for them if you yourself are drowning. Ask God for a new focus. One that will lift up your spirits. You will be a better person for yourself and those around you. Continue to pray for your son.

But for the grace of God goes one of my sons. But here it is twenty years later and he is the son every mother wants. There were three years when he wouldn't communicate with me.....though I tried and cried and cried. When I put him in drug rehab, I told him I'd rather have him hate me for admitting him there than dead because I did nothing. My 17 year old replied, "Well, you got your wish". I told him we wanted him to ive with us but he couldn't live with us and do drugs. He chose the latter at first. Over the next three years and even the next 19 he learned a lot about himself.

He is a wonderful son, husband and father with a wonderful career now. He loves his mama. All our trials may have brought us closer than even my other three. I never stopped loving him. Sometimes I didn't like him but I ALWAYS loved him no matter what. Years down the road is hard to see when you are standing in the here and now. Things began turning around for us in three years but it wasn't perfect. At 21 our healing journey started and eventually flourished. Without the Blessed Mother and God I don't know how I would have made it but I had three other children who needed me.

Words to live by are that YOU cannot control anyone else's behavior. You can only control your own actions and thoughts. You cannot reason with an active drug user or alcoholic or even a person who is out of control with anger. Don't try. It is fodder for their anger. Just keep reassuring them of your love. Don't allow yourself to be manipulated. Loving them doesn't mean you have to enable them. You have to be confident that you raised him with good values and that eventually those values will resurface. Pray, pray, pray!
Don't pray for the strength to survive it. Pray for a life outside of it.

I know they need money in jail. Set up a monthly amount that he has to budget. Don't let your heart delplete your pockets.

My friend's son is now trying to avoid his third strike. The next time he goes away for good. He's not a bad guy. He's always been a loveable sweet kid. He just can't stay away from the drugs that make him stupid. He just came home from prison Mother's Day weekend. He always gets caught stealing to buy drugs. I teased him when he came home, "You really suck at this. You aren't very good at what you do. I think you need to try another avenue"
He laughed and said, "No, I really am not very good at it but I always think I am 'this time'". He really doesn't want to go back for life. We talked about him having a higher power and he does. He always has but he forgets to put Him foremost in his mind.

Hang on, Sue. Step back from all these tribulations. Walk around it and find a path for YOU. Take God with you. You're not being selfish to put yourself first. Your being strong and focused on something else is the best thing for all concerned. You and your son will be in my prayers.

God Bless!