Smacking children

[Admin2]

By Smacker on Wednesday, February 5, 2003 - 12:56 pm:
I have just heard that it is illegal to smack children in the USA?
Hello!!!!!!! That can not be true... surely. ..

By tony on Wednesday, February 5, 2003 - 01:11 pm:
Would you like to be SMACKED!!!
That would get you off? Eh!!!
Kids getting smacked, sounds dark ages.
"suffer the little children..."
Smack 'em and teach them how violence will
get them their way. It comes down to
impatience or intolerance.
If you have a real problem child then you
need professional help not a bigger belt.
Whack!!!
Sceam!!! ....
By Anon on Wednesday, February 5, 2003 - 01:12 pm:
It sure is Smacker isn't that a shame a parent can not smack there own kid on the butt, and then they wonder why there are so many Juvenile delinquents....

By elkouri on Wednesday, February 5, 2003 - 01:18 pm:
i go along with tony,
a little bit of love goes a long way.and a lot of love cures most all that ails you.
and when my son was in school ,
they better not smack him OR there would be hell to pay.
YOU Dont want to get me angry.

guess it paid off,
he is a board certified emergency trauma physician and gives me all the love i gave him BACK, AND THEN SOME...

By Norman on Wednesday, February 5, 2003 - 01:56 pm:
Smacked one of those terms that needs clarified. Not dictionary clarification but where the smacking is done, and the basis for using the open hand to strike a child as was asked in smackers post. The word used was smack which to me means "once" plural would have been worded differently. The question by smacker didn't ask what part of the body.

If a parent smacks a childs bottom to prevent the child from burning itself because of a facination with fire that isn't done out of anger but for love and caring for the child's welfare. One could argue the point and say a time out will accomplish the same goal. At the young age when the curiosity is beginning and matches are in the childs hand and attempting to light one. I opt for the immediate attention of smacking the butt and telling the child no and why. I think a young child sent off to sit and think about the transgression really doesn't have the mental capacity to translate potential harm into reality while removed from the act.

The one smack on the butt should get the attention not amount to abuse. Consequenses for something the parent doesn't want to happen can form the basis for understanding social interaction. Given Dr. Spock theory of non agression "don't get your childs attention immediately" isolate them and let them think about what they have done is it any wonder we have a wealth of children now that don't think twice about murder? That the system will give them a time out because of their age and they aren't responsible for what they have done.

Thre are success stories using time outs but if statistics are to be believed violent crime has progressively increased as parents were arrested for not sparing the rod. .......

By elkouri on Wednesday, February 5, 2003 - 02:22 pm:
not necessarily sparing the rod.
just not teaching the children right from wrong

one more time
we can bring up 9 children all in the same household and each will be different.

i rebel if you hit me.

[Tori]

I agree Norman. An split second of mild pain to save a lifetime of scars be they mental or physical is not cruelty.

A parent who avoids their responsibility to protect their children is the cruel one!

Lest anyone set up a hue and cry, I'm not advocating child beating. Just a slap on the hand the instant the little hand reaches out to touch the fire or a slap on the bottom when the toddler runs toward the street.

[Christmas]

:o

here at my place I used a thin soled terry cloth house shoe or a plastic fly swatter.

you know I never could stand to see a child telling the adult to leap frog leap and parent asking how high

when you raise your own you have the opportunity to start at the beginning and use your own method of correction and the opportunity to establish who is the child and who is the adult

I can still hear my grandson who I got at age three and who was a whirling diverish....saying......no get fly flapper, no get fly flapper I be good.........he THOUGHT I was going to get him good, but having the bluff on him and him knowing I said what I meant and meant what I said.....i didn't have to use the fly flapper

I have three grown kids and all three are responsible, hard working, honest and caring persons

[Tori]

Christmas it's great to have you posting in here. I think you'll enjoy this board much more than the old one. Without all the interruptions and distractions it's a lot calmer and quieter.;)

[Christmas]

:rolleyes:

if i can catch on to the workings it will do

mostly the others did't bother me

i just passed by them

there was nothing I wanted to "get my teeth into", lOL, unless it would have been the hind pocket on the back of their levis,,,,,

i "tried" this type format some time back on another site....can't even remember the name now.......I am an old dog who learns new tricks sloooooooooooowly, VBG

see you later guys and girls...gents and gentlemen,

[Christmas]

:confused:

sheesh, ladies and gentlemen......i definately am NOT an earlier riser. the wheels turrrrrn ever so slowly

i probably won't be wide awake til evening......i am part vampire.......keepa you windows closed after dark and eat garlic for supper.....

[Snowden]

Well, Christmas, you keep posting and you will get downright comfortable in here. It has a certain feeling of being cosy and just among friends.. It's not necessary to understand it, fortunately -- I sure don't yet.

I have no idea (despite the information being available by clicking the Help button at the top of the page) what is meant by the vB Code. Don't know what the # sign means even when I put the cursor on it and it tells me - ditto PHP. To top it off, I have no idea what Tags are!

But I come in and post, using emoticons and colors and I really enjoy it. And I know I can enter URL easily with the http:// button.

So just keep coming in and practicing and bit by bit we'll understand the system in here! :confused: I think!

I have learned to edit - so I came back to ask you to fill in your Profile with whatever information you don't mind sharing with us - maybe even a picture?

[Admin2]

By Anonymous on Thursday, February 6, 2003 - 09:43 am:
Maybe some husbands could use a cattle prodder?

By elkouri on Thursday, February 6, 2003 - 10:05 am:
1. Elk I'm struggling to understand your post. Would you clarify what you meant .

Let me try, NORMAN!

(not necessarily sparing the rod.
just not teaching the children right from wrong)

I now feel that spankings are not the answer.
we should from the beginning of our childrens lives teach them right from wrong. teach them

this, and hopefully we as parents living that kind of life
can encourage them.


2. That and mentioning
(we can bring up 9 children all in the same household and each will be different).

yes i have said before, we can raise 9 children in the same home, with the same teachings, and none of them will be the same.

3. What then do you suggest to address their differences when it comes to keeping them from harming themselves?

norman, children are smarter than we think much smarter than we think. what is your opinion of moving them away from the danger and telling them it is dangerous, rather than a whack on the butt. dont underestimate the power of children.

4. What are your thoughts about, 9 children raised in abject poverty with no father figure around. Would the decipline needed for them really be the same as 9 children raised by a wealthy family with a nanny present at all times? Is it logical to apply the same standard to every situation ?

sometimes it is not logical to apply the same standards, norman, but i believe, love can make a difference in the outcome of your child, poor or rich.

and yessssss, the majority of children learn what they live.

hopefully this will enable them to get out in word and teach the same things we have tried to instill in them.

sometimes my words dont express my feeling.

hope you get a little insight of my thoughts

love u
norman
elk

By Christmas on Thursday, February 6, 2003 - 12:20 pm:
did you know that part of a person's life is formed by life experiences but part is in the genes

i came from a Christian background with loving but strict parents.....strict for this day and time

i had a few switchings (that I deserved) and a few criticisms I didn't deserve......but the basics were there for living in society in a postive manner. I give the credit to my earthly parents .....and heavenly FATHERS plan.

i can see genes in my background ......there are five of us and we all are hard headed, determined, slow to anger but more dangerous the longer we hold off. We all try to be fair and just in our dealings.

I have my Dad's gregarious, friendly characteristics, Mom's sense of honesty and work ethic (and a bit of temper), and my grandmother's NO NONSENSE, often opinionated side.

Put them all together they spell.......BARBARA/Christmas
I yam what I yam and that isn't half bad, VBG

By Norman on Thursday, February 6, 2003 - 02:12 pm:
Elk thanks for giving the response you did. I did say I believe you have a good heart and it is in the right place. Your explanation answered my questions completely.

What you would like to see happen and reality are far apart but what you wish would happen would be terrific.

If at anytime I ask you what you mean please take it the same way as you just did.

By Norman on Thursday, February 6, 2003 - 02:28 pm:
Christmas what you describe could fit me and I suspect quite a few others.The exception is my parents were not very religious. Otherwise getting my attention with a swat or two when I deserved it was part of my upbringing.

I managed to get to this age with only a couple of minor traffic tickets and my self esteem intact.

There is a huge difference between swatting a child when they need their attention brought to something that is part of family rules or for their own safety, and wailing away at a child out of anger. Perhaps even worse which I think is a lot of what is going on in todays society is mental abuse by neglect. How can kids form good decision making characteristics when they are raised by a day care center? How do they know right from wrong if their family time is spent watching violent programs?

Part of the good old days should include recognizing that our parents while abusive by todays standards were actually more loving. Our generation is far less violent and we did get that swat.

By Anonymous on Thursday, February 6, 2003 - 03:04 pm:
Hitting an adult is abuse. Hitting your own child is abuse.Hitting is not loving, it is hitting.

If you can't get the desired behavior one way surely there are other ways to deal with the problem! I was beaten as a child and it resulted in feelings of humiliation and fear, I know there is a question of degree of violence but some children are deeply affected by it.

How on earth can you justifying hitting a child?It's barbaric and neanderthal.Do such parents get a power -high from hitting?

By Snowden on Thursday, February 6, 2003 - 03:37 pm:
Anonymous, hitting can be a number of things. Swatting is obviously a smack to get attention. My children were spanked - as I was. So are theirs, at least one family of them.

The relationship between parent and child is even more important than the wife-training expertise shown by OneSG and Norman in their discussions above. It's not being "friends," it's use of the knowledge learned from observation and, where children are concerned, by having parents who have lived long enough to mature into strong enough a state to be able to know the difference between hitting (sometimes this would involve a fist!) and swatting.

Christmas mentioned swatting with a fly swatter; that's an excellent idea. Besides, with the fly swatter you have the advantage of being far enough from the targeted bottom of the child to avoid any kick that child aims at you.

Men may like training women, but women do most of the training of children. Fortunately, most of us aren't strong enough to damage more than the dignity and pride, so the child is chastised but not crushed.

By Anonymous on Thursday, February 6, 2003 - 04:07 pm:
If I ever see any adult hitting or swatting a child I will report them. There is absolutely no sane reason for striking, "swatting", "spanking", or whatever silly euphemism is being used.Training by fear and abuse is sick.


By Slapper on Thursday, February 6, 2003 - 07:21 pm:
Anon. Clearly you do not have children!! or if you do youu do not care about them. They would be horrors. Sorry but that is true!!!!!

[Tori]

Slapper, Contrary to what you heard, it is NOT against the law to smack or spank a child in the United States.
It is however against the law to abuse or beat a child.

It is also against the law for a child to abuse a parent.

[Shar]

there will always be someone that prefers to take you words of swatting, and change it to beating or other words denoting physical abuse. One post cited ONE doctor that is questionable in whether they are accredited or not. There are equally as many that condone the "swatting" and Dr. Spock...the great guru of all time..*G* is one of those.

Permissiveness is prevelant in our society and we have a high percentage of crime in the under 18 group and many problems.

[Christmas]

:p

sometimes I type this long response and when I go to post message I am told I typed too much that I can split the message to post it.

once you are to the point where you are told that information how can you split it or do you have to go back and delete at least some of it and retype it


thank you very much

[norman]

Christmas do you know how to copy and paste using your
(C) & (V) keys ? If not I'll explain it is a time saver for me and will help if you have to split a posting. I usually use it in conjunction with a notepad so I can paste whatever on that to hold until I want to post it.

I won't take up time or space here to explain the C & V or notepad unless you or anyone else would like to find out about that. if anyone would like an explanation just ask & I'll post it in the computer tips topic

[Tori]

Interesting how we do things differently. Since I am a great one for shortcuts I never bothered to learn the key codes. I've always used my mouse for everything except typing, including copy and paste.

Recently the batteries in my cordless mouse died. My computer was useless to me until I could replace the batteries. Going to take a little time to learn those codes now! :o

[Snowden]

First I must see if this works: http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm I tested it, and it works!! As my grandson says, "Hoooraay! I did it!!!" Of course, the staff did it, but even so. Downloading is easy and free, if I remember correctly. It puts an icon on the desktop. I put the icon in my shortcuts file, and when I want to use it, I copy the message, click the downsize or minimizer thingy up in the right corner, open the shortcuts and click on the icon. Then I paste the mess in the box that opens, re-copy, go and put it where I want it. Easy.

Now, about the long posts. I use the C and V method at times, Norman; I believe if Christmas has MSN she will have to use that instead of the mouse on emails - when I had MSN they would not accept the mouse at all! So for copying and pasting, perhaps Christmas knows how to use the keyboard and only the mouse is a mystery.

When my entry is too long, I see just how long it is. If less than 4 kb, I cut it in half as nearly as possible; if it's more than four, I accomodate by cutting as near half, minus a bit, as the paragraphs allow. More than 6, I shorten if possible, to keep from having one entry go into three posts. Sometimes it doesn't work.

Christmas, do you ever use the right side of the mouse? If you just play with it, as Tori once told me, you'll find various menus. Usually it knows the applicable menu.