Queensland Tourist Warning

[Black Bear]

Cane Toads are rampant in Queensland. They are deadly and ugly, very much suited to the place. It is sometime difficult to distinguish a cane toad from some residents of the coastal strip in that state, especially the ones that disguise themselves to pounce on clam gatherers.

Tourists will be issued a golf club at the airport, a small dirt track on a farm used to raise eagles. These clubs are for the state sport of cane toad whacking, which is a compulsory activity to ensure that there are t still some paths to walk on with out that constant squishing sound.

The Red Backed Spider is found in abundant numbers under the seats of the drop dunnies still in use in Queensland. A hole is dig and a shed is placed over the hole for your convenience. Teh Brisbane daily newspaper sissupplied for tearing into small squares, also for you convenience.

The State language of Queensland is Japanese.

The Tiapan snake, possibly the deadliest and fastest snake in the world lives in abundance in real estate officers, Solicitors rooms and anywhere there is money laying around.

Wild pigs roam the streets of their laughable city, and public transport still consists of one chariot and a cart pulled by itenerant backpackers.

Don't forget to sign the "release" that the government require in case you are lost or poisoned by some Lebonese Coffe Shop. No care, and less responsibility will be taken.

Tourists enter at their own risk.

The tourist dollar starts at the $100.00 do not expect anything less than a laugh if you offer something less.

If visiting the Gold Coast a pin is for writing.

Have a nice stay.

[eye-1]

I am over there most years bb, and I never see anything like you are describing.Mind you, it depends where u focus your thoughts when there I suppose. Your cynisism has blinded u to seeing the good anywhere in life, and I feel sorry for you! I write this with sadness, not condemnation.

[louie the laig break]

Tourists will be issued a golf club at the airport, a small dirt track on a farm used to raise eagles.

The Red Backed Spider is found in abundant numbers under the seats of the drop dunnies still in use in Queensland. A hole is dig and a shed is placed over the hole for your convenience.
Teh Brisbane daily newspaper sissupplied for tearing into small squares, also for you convenience.

Ok now that is Funny as hell!! :)

[eastender2]

Hell yes it was in the sixties.....spray cans available now lou

[Black Bear]

I am over there most years bb, and I never see anything like you are describing.Mind you, it depends where u focus your thoughts when there I suppose. Your cynisism has blinded u to seeing the good anywhere in life, and I feel sorry for you! I write this with sadness, not condemnation.


Well you must have gone around blindfolded, Eye.

Actually, I spent my teenage years and a bit more in the central west of Queensland, and loved the experience. Like all Country Australians, real Australians in the Outback of all states, you will be hard pressed to find better, more friendly and honest people.

I went back to Longreach after 31 years on the coast of NSW, and I was not very happy with the changes from the time I remebered. It was not only Longreach that had changed, but me and the rest of the world as well, but it took that little shock to remind me of that fact.

[Black Bear]

Hell yes it was in the sixties.....spray cans available now lou

How do you go th the dunny in a spray can?????? Must be a modern contraptions that hasn't caught up with me yet.

[oth]

Actually I thought the original entry was both clever & humourous -
the fact that it was posted by BB caused it to be seen in perhaps
a different light - then again maybe it WAS intended as a derogatory piece.
Like many chats /blogs/ discussions there are at least 2 ways of interpretation,
depending on one's attitude / perception of the sender.

[eastender2]

Take the spray can with me daaaah!!!

[louie the laig break]

Take the spray can with me daaaah!!!

Easty! Good morning ...Uh just what could a person do with a spray can in a loo??

My "overactive" imagination is sorely taxed for THAT one! LOLOL

[eastender2]

the mind boggles lou the can explodes hahaha lol

[Black Bear]

Actually I thought the original entry was both clever & humourous -
the fact that it was posted by BB caused it to be seen in perhaps
a different light - then again maybe it WAS intended as a derogatory piece.
Like many chats /blogs/ discussions there are at least 2 ways of interpretation,
depending on one's attitude / perception of the sender.


Maybe, like the rest of the clan, you hadn't had your daily bowl of grule to upset your stomach juices into creating enough bile.

Or, Shock Horror, you have discovered my cover. I'll be sacked by ASIO now, for sure.

[oth]

"Maybe, like the rest of the clan, you hadn't had your daily bowl of grule "

So now I'm one of the (mindless) clan - trying to suggest you are misread,
but off you go like a deranged Dalek proving me wrong; has your ability to
irritate a use-by date, or do we suffer interminably? (hell on earth)
That's gruel, by the way.

[eyemi]

"...deranged Dalek" roflmao!Oh! But you are good with the English language oth! Apt description too I might add!!

[eyemi]

Black Bear, there is beauty everywhere IF u look for it! You view everything and everyone with cynicism, so of course everything looks and seems bad to you. Change your attitude and the World will seem a much nicer place. Don`t just sneer at my words,try it!Seriously, just try it. Retrain your thinking and maybe the rest of your life won`t be so miserable.

[TarkaWill]

Who are you to be telling ANYONE how to act?

[pooky56]

Time to get your obsessive-compulsive disorder checked

Who are you to be telling ANYONE how to act? Look in the mirror.


the top comment was left on my blog the 2nd one directed at eyes!!!!


tarka bill what have eyes or myself done to you???

if you have nothing nice to say why not scroll on bye,,,,,,,,,,,???

hope your lil boat and living on your lil canal with your faithful pal champ are holding you in good stead..........hope you are well and happy

[cat_eye52]

Tarka, I am sorry I upset u. In no way was I intending to offend anyone!If u have followed your friends postings etc I am sure u realise he is a rather unpleasant man. Actually, what I wrote above wasn`t mean`t to be nasty at all. If I may make an observation; never have I seen your name in ANY of his postings as having viewed them even....now, that gives me pause for thought .... You are never around when he is creating mayhem! hmmmmmm

[TarkaWill]

You are making no sense. Who is "his" or "he"? I made a one sentence comment to "eyemi" about eyemi. Now you are "cateye"? You use to be "eyes-1" and many others? Why don't you just be true to yourself and the rest of us?

[cat_eye52]

I cannot log in with my original name for some reason.I was hit by a trojan and my puter went all to hell.I sign up with a name and never get the activation link I am told I have been sent, so I try again.Am told my name isn`t available etc etc. so I try another name. Still no activation link! I always have eye somewhere in my name so as to be recognised. As to his/ he, I am referring to "black bear";tarka will, tarka bill, tarka...black bear!!! ''Pot calling the kettle black'', don`t u think?

[TarkaWill]

I speak for all of us here when I tell you, eyes, the reason you can't ever log in with your name is because Admin keeps banning you.

[cat_eye52]

I don`t think you should generalise Tarka. I am not suspicious of everyone at all. Just you.And u would know I am banned...how? Why would I be banned and not black bear? Compared to him I am very tame! I retaliate. Not initiate.And why are u defending him re my above statement? Where is he? You and I were friends, and I,like so many others, get mad at bb, and here u r defending him. I wouldn`t have thought he needed anyone to defend him, as he is not reticent in regards to retaliation! I find it odd that he has u defending him and he isn`t about at all? And why am I singled out and no-one else for bad mouthing him? I am not the only one by a long shot! Why me, tarka? So,if I am banned, am I to believe that is your doing then.......?

[Auntie Freda]

I speak for all of us here ......... Oh no, no, no, no, no .
You most certainly do NOT !

[Auntie Freda]

...the reason you can't ever log in with your name is because Admin keeps banning you.
RUBBISH !
There is a minor glitch in the system which has affected others - myself included.
I suspect that BB was indeed banned - should have happened LONG ago.
But "EYE" ?
Not the slightest grounds in the world.


Eye is right.
In the past you have produced some quite meaningful posts.
Have you had some sort of breakdown ?
Can we help ?

[pooky56]

I speak for all of us here when I tell you>>>>> tarka bill



Mr Tarka Bill
that will never happen!!! do not include me in your abuse !!!!! cause thats what it is!!!

[cat_eye52]

p.s If banned because of things said in discussions, why am I still able to post here? Very strange!

[cat_eye52]

~~~~~~pooky! Another fine mess we have here! *S*

[cat_eye52]

Thank you Uncle, and pooky I am sorry if I dragged u into this. I am bowing out now, as there is no rhyme or reason to it! This isn`t the tarka we know, and as fred asked tarka, "has he had some sort of breakdown?" I am inclined to agree, and sincerely sympathise and wish him a speedy recovery.

[pooky56]

cat eye i cant understand why Tarka Bill would come in under anonymous .............. be abusive and create problems and then assume his name as Tarka ,,,,,,,,why should he or anyone be able to abuse and intimidate good people in here ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,eyes you have done nothing wrong!!! i am putting him on iggy cant be bothered with fools...........oxygen thiefs!!!

Fred i hope you are well xx

[TarkaWill]

And why are u defending black bear re my above statement? Where is he? u r defending him. I wouldn`t have thought he needed anyone to defend him. I find it odd that he has u defending him and he isn`t about at all? And why am I singled out and no-one else for bad mouthing him?
You're a nutcase, eye. All I said is, "who are you to be telling anyone how to act?" I said that because I'm tired of you and some others bitching, nagging, and being bossy in here to EVERYONE. Ever since I said that you've been going on and on about Black Bear this and Black Bear that. I never even mentioned Black Bear. Why would I defend him when I loathe him? And Fred is right. He's been banned so he's history. Go ahead, prove that I said anything whatsoever regarding Black Bear. Post a quote. You won't find one. So get off your pedestal and back off.

[aynat]

Hello everyone, I am new to this site. I have been watching for some time and have some questions, if you don't mind.

I see that this forum is run by people in Queensland, and that the fred person is in Queensland. Is he one of the forum owners?

I am pleased to be here, and hope I can join in with all the fun and interesting topics.

[Auntie Freda]

Hello everyone, I am new to this site.
WARNING ! WARNING ! WARNING !

Do not walk in the bear poo !

[aynat]

WARNING ! WARNING ! WARNING !

Do not walk in the bear poo !

Anyone could see it happening, he has totally lost it now, poor senile little man.

Is that Toorbul or all bull. Delisser comes up as 'disservice' in spell check...both sound very appropriate.

[Auntie Freda]

Just WHO ...... is rambling ?

[aynat]

Just WHO ...... is rambling ?


Might be your boyfriend Perry who takes an hour or so to drive from Grafton to Coffs Harbour. There are a lot of fuddy-duddy drivers on the road like that. Reasonable drivers take about 50 min, and still stay within the law.

[Auntie Freda]

http://www.mynrma.com.au/cps/rde/xchg/mynrma/hs.xsl/travelplanner_pop.htm?toTown=COFFS HARBOUR&toState=NSW&fromTown=GRAFTON&fromState=NSW
Trip Planner
Grafton NSW to Coffs Harbour NSW
Total Trip Duration: 1:13 Hours Total Distance: 81.92 kms

Start on Roundabout Grafton
22 metres
Turn left Fitzroy Street
Grafton 386 metres
accumulated distance 0.02 Km 36 Seconds
Take the 2nd roundabout exit Fitzroy Street
Grafton 111 metres
accumulated distance 0.45 Km 10 Seconds
4 Turn left Craig Street
Grafton 951 metres
accumulated distance 0.56 Km 1:29 Minutes
5 Continues as Bent Street
398 metres
accumulated distance 1.52 Km 37 Seconds
6 Take the 2nd roundabout exit Bent Street
South Grafton 396 metres
accumulated distance 1.96 Km 37 Seconds
7 Take the 1st roundabout exit Gwydir Highway
South Grafton 223 metres
accumulated distance 2.38 Km 16 Seconds
8 Continues as Pacific Highway
South Grafton 56.43 kms
accumulated distance 2.6 Km 43:16 Minutes
9 Take the 2nd roundabout exit Pacific Highway
Woolgoolga
22.76 kms
accumulated distance 59.12 Km 26:01 Minutes
10 Turn right Orlando Street Coffs Harbour
16 metres
accumulated distance 81.88 Km 1 Second
elapsed time 73 Mins
11 Turn right Pacific Highway
Coffs Harbour 29 metres
accumulated distance 81.89 Km 2 Seconds
73 Mins
12 Finish on Pacific Highway
Coffs Harbour 0 metres
accumulated distance 81.92 Km 0 Seconds
elapsed time 73 Mins

Totals 81.92 kms 1:13 Hours

[aynat]

You just Can't get by without you finger up Google can you.

Read you little trip organiser and it appears that you have travelled for 16 seconds and have not left Grafton ( I would love to see you do what you have claimed in 16 seconds) then you spend an interminable time tearing around Coffs Harbour to make up you time...Totally ridiculous. How old is this story? We have had lots of new road works done here lately. 50 min is much closer to the mark from GRAFTON TO COFFS. Believe me, I travel that road several times a year, but thankfully, not with your boy Perry.

I:20 from Brisbane to your place Derf.

[Auntie Freda]

Take it up with the NRMA (National Roads and Motorists' Association), Sunshine.

The figures were lifted from THEIR website THIS MORNING.

In the first place, I said "ABOUT an hour".
You reckon 50 minutes. They say 1 hour 13 minutes.
I'd call EITHER ONE "about an hour".
But if you INSIST on being a dork ..............

It might not cross your mind
that they could be talking about
from the CBD of Grafton to the CBD of Coffs
and you might be talking from fringe to fringe
BUT WHO CARES ?

[Auntie Freda]

Hello everyone, I am new to this site. I have been watching for some time and have some questions, if you don't mind.

I see that this forum is run by people in Queensland, and that the fred person is in Queensland. Is he one of the forum owners?

I am pleased to be here, and hope I can join in with all the fun and interesting topics.
yeah RIGHT !!!!

[aynat]

BUT WHO CARES ?



Seems you do, DERF.

Aren't you having fun anymore pookums, people starting to work you out and see what you really are.