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What
happened. Sent in by 'Brill'
What has
happened to the so called modern "convenience?" The instant messages,
the split second communication? have you ever tried to call a toll free
number to get help from a manufacturer?? You dial the number for help,
you get a recorded voice that says, "please listen to the menu and choose
the appropriate option." You don't want a menu, you just want a real live
person. But you must listen to the entire menu, all of the options. The
recorded voice says, "if you would like the accounting department, press
one." You just want a real live person to answer your question. "If you
know the party to whom ou are calling press in their code number now."
You did not call for a party, you didn't know they had codes, you just
want a real live person. The voice then says, "if you purchased our product
please press the scanner number listed on the package." Scanner, schmanner,,you
just want a real live person. The voice then says, "if you would like
to talk to a representative please press four on your phone." Oh, you
feel like you are making headway. You press the number four, you hear
the phone ring, then you get another recording. "If you would like to
speak to a representative in English press one, for all other press two."
You press one, the phone rings, you feel good, but then you get another
recorded message. "All our representatives are busy taking care of other
customers at this time, we value your business and your questions. A representative
will take your call in the order it was received, please stay on the line."
So you wait, you have already spent fifteen minutes getting this far so
you can't go back. You could have driven to the company and talked with
the president of the company by now...you wait...and you listen to some
awful music from the 50"s,,,it is just awful... So you sit and write out
your shopping list for the store. You write a letter to your brother,
you write a letter to your sister. But then you hear the phone ringing,,you
get excited...a man answers the phone, "this is Boris, how may I help
you?" But you pressed the number for English and this man has some kind
of foreign accent that you do not understand. And you say, "what did you
say?" He repeats what ever he said and you get, "may I help you.?" Oh,
yes I was calling about your product for my six year old, may I give it
to her full strength?" The man replies in broken English. "You have the
wrong department, you should have pressed option eight." "But sir, I was
not given the option to press option eight." And in broken English the
man says, "well I can connect you to option eight please stay on the line."
You wait....you hear the phone ring..someone answers..not a real voice..a
recording..."I am sorry this office is closed, our working hours are from
9am to 5pm, please call during working hours." You hear a click, then
a dial tone,......you hang up. The neighbors can hear you swearing, crying,
yelling, hitting the phone with a hammer. But you don't care. You know
that was option nine. You wasted thirty five minutes..your frustration
level is off the chart. You flush their product down the drain.. You make
yourself a cup of coffee and try to relax. Then the phone rings..you answer...."hello
and congratulations, you have just been selected as a privileged person
to receive our interest free credit card!" You scream obscenities and
slam the phone down..You then hear the mail person. Maybe your magazine
came today...but the only piece of mail is your phone bill....Oh, now
you know why people drink, why they take medications to calm their nerves.
Now you know why they are called cell phones..Because they will drive
you to live in a cell with rubber walls...Call me sometime..we will talk...my
number is unlisted... LaVon D. Brillhart
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