“ What on earth was that?” Jolene and Paul, sat bolt upright from a very deep sleep. Jolene reached for the light switch – it was 3 a.m. Paul leapt out of bed still in a daze. Unable to see; as he blindly felt around the side and end of the bed. So much crashing and squealing happening. The whole house by this stage was wide-awake. Jolene realized that Paul had heard the little black cat ‘ Pussy Foot’ coming in through the open bedroom window. Pussy Foot three years old, but really small is an amazing hunter. Quite often she would bring presents in to show her appreciation. Pussy Foot had no sense of time. The hunter in her never slept.

As the bedroom was being turned upside down, the light on the other three cats; – Towrag ‘ Cassidy and Sundance all in line to watch and witness this great and mighty hunt – were joined by James the guide dog. Now, it was a small bedroom, and as Jolene looked to see what the noise was all about – she screamed in real terror – A large Black and very alive Rat – emerged from under the clothes on the floor. Paul being the man that he is, decided that he was going to get a hammer. Forgetting that there was no way that he could see the stupid rat. Jolene was really worried that, the rat would eat the computer chords.

The rat was at least as big as Pussy Foot, how she could possibly get it in her mouth, let alone jump through the bedroom window with it. Is still a mystery to day? Jolene knew there was no way that Paul could possibly help with this one, she was on her own. Now she had to face one of her worst nightmares. Being badly bitten by a rat when a little girl. Rodents are a major fear. Reaching for a towel she wrapped it around her hand and arm. This she felt was her protection. Of course she knew that her chances of getting the thing out were pretty jolly remote. By this stage, Pussy Foot had given up throwing the rat around for the entire world to see. She had done her skite act – was happy that everyone knew of her catch. Proceeded to lick and wash herself as only a cat can do.

Of course she was keeping a close eye on what was really happening. Jolene managed to get the computer and all the wires out from the wall, and shaking with cold and fear – she looked – but no rat! Turning franticly she wondered where the thing could have gone. Eyeing off the large Scotch Chest of Drawers – packed full to the brim – Jolene managed to pull this out from the wall with brut strength, which seems to come at times like this. Of course Paul was still standing close by, with the hammer in hand. Perhaps a little to close, making it difficult for Jolene to move things around. Towrag, eyes grew bigger and bigger – a dark piercing green black, as she watched all the manoeuvring. Sundance, the large Grey Fluffy Cat, whose pedigree name is really. Penniless Patty Cake. Who in their right mind would name a cat that? It was bad enough Sundance.

He was more like ‘Oscar the Grouch’ from Sesame Street. James was lying in the doorway, observing and of course being a Labrador thought only of food. Now, with the squeaking of Pussy Foot, and the purring of Cassidy – Sundance giving himself a very sloppy wash. The room was full of animal noises. Jolene feeling really sick with fear at what the outcome would be. Looked under the bed, behind the door. ‘No Rat.’ She knew there was no way it could have escaped from the room. The only other remote place that this thing might be was in the wardrobe. But, how, could it possibly be there. The door was shut firmly tight. Deciding with Towrags encouragement as much as to say ‘Really Mum, you humans are so thick at times. Look in the jolly wardrobe.” Discussing with Paul, on which was the best move. Jolene gingerly opened the door of the wardrobe. Not so much that she though the rat was in there. More, to the fact, that everything that was so neatly stacked on the floor, would tumble out. It was a mission on its own to be able to access this said Closet. After all, what are floors for, but to store things on? Jolene is known to be quite a womble. Door only a fraction open, Pussy Foot on full alert, in she rushed.

No thought or care of what would be knocked over. Stupid, stupid humans; of course that is where my catch is. I thought you would never guess. What is the point of playing hide and seek with you? “Thank you, come on you guys, lets go.” Not only was one cat in, but all jolly four of them. We will help you.

“No, you won’t.” “Just stop us.” One cat after another was thrown out. One cat after another rushed back in, while poor Jolene, tried so hard to gently take things out of the floor. “ I see it, I see it, screamed Pussy Foot, with great delight.” Looking up at her owners with all the pride in the world. All that was visible was one long black tail. “Oh, my God,” breathing very deeply, then taking a deep breath; Jolene made a grab for the tail. Paul, still swinging the stupid hammer, said, “I’ll get it!” Yeah right……….. How did he think he could possibly get the silly thing, when he could not even see his own fingers? Really, by this time, Jolene had lost her usually good nature, and was getting really cross. Jolene lunged forward, grabbed the tail, and pulled.

It was so heavy. The cats stood guard all waiting to make the first move, to be in on what they estimated to be a wonderful chase. Not so. As the rat was extricated from the closet, it took an almighty swing around and latched its pearly whites, into Jolene’s arm. In a great deal of pain, Jolene yelled at Paul as though he was miles away. Open the doors I am coming through. Move out of my way. Look out Sundance, as she tripped over, what was fondly called ‘The Mop!’ A cat brigade escorted this mighty warrior down the passage to the closed front door. Paul, bringing up the rear, and being ordered to please open the B… door. James, had seen enough, but thought that he had better be in on whatever was going on. Started to wag his rather large tail, and wanted to play.

Thump, thump thump, went his tail, against the wall of the passage as he ran rather noisily down the hall. If their exchange student could sleep through all the noise and commotion that was happening. Then, they would sleep through an earthquake. The door opened widely, Paul, moved aside, having no idea, that this unwelcome guest, was having a good feed of his wife!! Jolene moved out on the deck, determined to see the end of this scenario – of course a guard of honour was formed by the cats and dog.

Well, really the dog was more interested in what there was to eat. Jolene gathered up momentum as she swung her arm round and around trying to free the teeth, which were firmly planted in her wrist. Eventually, she won, and Mr Rat let go.

After one more extra swing, just to make sure her aim was correct, and the rat would fly right over the fence, down into the next street, never to be seen again. Jolene let go. Crashing down on the deck, Rat hitting its head with an almighty thud against the railing of the wet, and slippery deck. It had not long stopped raining. Jolene, in major pain, on the deck, Paul all concerned, Jolene yelling once more, shut the bloody door – as she watched a very stunned and dizzy rat, walking in circles, trying to get to the open door.

Yes, she had missed, the rat lived on. Cats, fortunately, had not noticed, this and were busy, washing themselves with much pride, at the disaster, they had managed to cause. Jolene, dragged herself up, and off back to bed, with a most welcome coffee that Paul made. Only to find in the morning, yes – One very dead Rat at the back door!

By Jen - August 6, 2003